Breath Mints and conversation tips

Instructions for making new connections and striking deals.

Have you been invited to a party?
Learn how to talk,
dress and behave.

Step 1


Step 2

Learn to overcome the obstacles between you and great conversations. Shyness, insecurity, language or speech problems, and nerves can be minimized through study, training or therapy.

Step 3

Enrich your store of conversational topics. Current events, movies and books, food and restaurants, music, psychology, and hobbies are all rich sources.

Step 4

Practice the art of conversation with people you trust. Try out a new topic, a new manner of speaking, a new interest or improved storytelling on them.

I dont usually get invited to polite parties, no printed invitations for Mediterranean dinners, no gardens for sipping Beaujolais or tasting brochettes of melon while boats roar with prosciutto and mozzarella. I have never brought a bottle of wine, mapped the mingle pattern nor warmed a house with my presence.
My cozy presence has , with more confident friends, bum crashed a few polite parties munching for the bruschetta and sniffing for the free coke. I smile shyly and stuff my surplus messenger bag with bottles of Marker's Mark, Grey Goose and Stoli.
I am hopeless.

Step 5

Read newspapers and magazines; watch new and different television programs; attend more plays, lectures or even classes.

Step 6

Jot down what you find interesting about what you learn, people you meet and what you've read. Practice talking about those topics.

Step 7

Learn some opening lines that will lead to discussions and memorize them until they come out naturally: "You know, the other day I noticed how many people wear (glasses) (all black) (the same outfits) (bad ties) ....

" what is your medium?"
" Umm... I dont know, anything. really."
" He is a photographer, he is always carrying a camera."
" Oh a photographer."
"No, I mean, I am not that good.. with a camera."
" You should really learn to talk about your art. How are you going to get an exhibit or representation?"
" Umm... ya, your right ... nice to meet you, thanks."

I am hopeless, what can I say?

I make spit art... its multi-snot.
I will use any material available to me, if you left a half gallon a paint by the side of your house or in an open bulk head, I took it . I will use nails, boards rotting wood, crusty paint brushes, abandon houses, paper, canvas, dirt, moss, flour, salt , skin scurf.
I am not afraid of technology, I use any cheese ass computer program I get access to and it shows.

You can check my mess HERE

or just play find "The Flit At The Party" below.


  1. owww I hate parties so much
    I live in a state of continual fear and dread of being asked to one.
    I avoid eye contact at all times.
    and wear buds a lot,
    just in case someone should ever say
    'hey wannna come to a party'
    if they did say that
    I would say
    'hey wanna chew ma balls,it would be more fun'
    but I never say that
    I just look at the ground and smirk so people think I am mysterious and cool as a result, but I am not mysterious or cool I just hate parties.
    Nice Work and Loved the work you did for me and flit it's just awesome.

  2. Nick, but you are mysterious and cool.
    I am a mass of contradictions, I do like parties , but only the drugged up, drunk dancing, take your pants off kind. There has to be trannies, a good DJ and drunk cute boys or I am not going.