Instructions for making new connections and striking deals.
Have you been invited to a party?
Learn how to talk,
dress and behave.
Step 1
Relax.
Step 2
Learn to overcome the obstacles between you and great conversations. Shyness, insecurity, language or speech problems, and nerves can be minimized through study, training or therapy.
Step 3
Enrich your store of conversational topics. Current events, movies and books, food and restaurants, music, psychology, and hobbies are all rich sources.
Step 4
Practice the art of conversation with people you trust. Try out a new topic, a new manner of speaking, a new interest or improved storytelling on them.
I dont usually get invited to polite parties, no printed invitations for Mediterranean dinners, no gardens for sipping Beaujolais or tasting brochettes of melon while boats roar with prosciutto and mozzarella. I have never brought a bottle of wine, mapped the mingle pattern nor warmed a house with my presence.
My cozy presence has , with more confident friends, bum crashed a few polite parties munching for the bruschetta and sniffing for the free coke. I smile shyly and stuff my surplus messenger bag with bottles of Marker's Mark, Grey Goose and Stoli.
I am hopeless.
Step 5
Read newspapers and magazines; watch new and different television programs; attend more plays, lectures or even classes.
Step 6
Jot down what you find interesting about what you learn, people you meet and what you've read. Practice talking about those topics.
Step 7
Learn some opening lines that will lead to discussions and memorize them until they come out naturally: "You know, the other day I noticed how many people wear (glasses) (all black) (the same outfits) (bad ties) ....
" what is your medium?"
" Umm... I dont know, anything. really."
" He is a photographer, he is always carrying a camera."
" Oh a photographer."
"No, I mean, I am not that good.. with a camera."
" You should really learn to talk about your art. How are you going to get an exhibit or representation?"
" Umm... ya, your right ... nice to meet you, thanks."
I am hopeless, what can I say?
I make spit art... its multi-snot.
I will use any material available to me, if you left a half gallon a paint by the side of your house or in an open bulk head, I took it . I will use nails, boards rotting wood, crusty paint brushes, abandon houses, paper, canvas, dirt, moss, flour, salt , skin scurf.
I am not afraid of technology, I use any cheese ass computer program I get access to and it shows.
You can check my mess HERE
or just play find "The Flit At The Party" below.
